I gave her twenty pounds in loose change; I had originally gone to give her a twenty-pound note but thought that even a drunken mother might have found that a bit too suspicious.Apart from the initial topic I had enjoyed our talk and so invited her to come around as often as she wanted, but she needn't wear such a short skirt.Christmas Day.I got out of bed about 9:00 on Christmas day. I wrapped my dressing gown around my naked body and headed downstairs. My winter routine was to put the kettle on, light the coal fire in the living room before making enough coffee to wake me up and drinking it as I watched the fire come to life. Then I would trundle back upstairs for my shower after which I would dress and begin whatever the day had in store for me.Just because it was December 25th didn't mean I had anything special planned.I had just started my second coffee, with the fire blazing but not yet chucking out a lot of heat when the doorbell chimed. My first thought was that it was my. "Want some?" he asks."No, I'm driving," Pete says. "I thought that was for the ladies." And for me. A few swigs can't hurt."As they drive to their destination Joe continues to drink from the bottle. As he continues to drink, it is obvious he is becoming intoxicated."Yo bro, do you think you should be drinking so much?" asks Pete."Yo man, I'm just loosening up. Better to get my freak on, you hear?" says Joe.The men arrive at their destination and park in the parking lot. They get out of the car and walk towards the building. Joe is carrying the bottle of brandy in a paper bag."We'll just wait here by the building till the hot babes show up," Joe says, slightly stuttering from drunkenness.A few moments later three tall blondes appear, walking in the direction of Pete and Joe."Pete, man, do you see what I see! Ah, man. Just like I imagined."The blondes are getting closer."Pete, let me do the talking. I got the natural rap, you hear?"As the tall blondes get within range, Joe leaps.
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